Santa or Jesus? Teaching Kids About Faith During the Holidays

I grew up in a tiny town in Ohio, the kind of place where if you sneezed without saying “bless you,” someone would actually report you to the church ladies. Jesus was everywhere—from school to your grandma’s kitchen, from every friend’s mouth to every billboard at Christmas. And Christmas? Oh, honey, Christmas was complicated. Because while Jesus was supposed to be the reason for the season, AirPods, iPads, and remote-controlled cars were also very much the reason for the season. You might say, we were all juggling faith and desire like some spiritual circus act, and let me tell you, the tightrope wobble was real.

I’m Lyon Amor Brave, and I’ve got a lot to say about teaching kids about Jesus — and about why maybe, just maybe, the gift obsession is doing more harm than good. Let’s get something straight: children are sponges. They’re listening. They’re absorbing everything—the tone in your voice, your panic about bills, your jokes about your ex, your side-eye at the neighbor’s dog, and yes, even your subtle judgment about the church potluck. So when you throw Jesus into the mix, they’re paying attention. But here’s the kicker: how you present Him matters way more than the fact that you present Him at all.

Faith Shapes Kids, But Tone Is Everything

Psychologists agree that children are constantly absorbing meaning about the world before they can even articulate it. They don’t just absorb words—they absorb emotional tone. That’s right. Emotional tone. If you’re yelling at your kids while saying, “Jesus loves you!” guess what? That message isn’t landing as love. It’s landing as confusion, guilt, and maybe a little existential terror. Kids don’t separate metaphor from reality; they hear every word as a direct reflection of the world around them.

When we teach children about Jesus, the effect is heavily dependent on how we tell the story. Children taught in love-based environments thrive—they become resilient, empathetic, and morally aware. Children taught in fear-based environments tend to be anxious, perfectionistic, and guilt-ridden. Same Jesus. Same story. Completely different outcomes. Tone is everything.

Jesus As a Moral Compass

Let’s break it down. Kids aged three to seven think in simple categories: kind/not kind, safe/not safe, hero/villain. In their minds, Jesus often appears as:

• A kind protector

• A forgiving figure

• Someone who helps those in need

• A model of courage and bravery

These categories match perfectly with early moral development. Teaching kids about Jesus in stories gives them a safe framework for understanding good, bad, and compassion. It’s no wonder that children exposed to stories of generosity and forgiveness often internalize these behaviors more effectively than those raised strictly with rules, punishments, or abstract moral lectures.

Here’s the thing: teaching Jesus isn’t about indoctrination. It’s about giving children a moral anchor, a way to see themselves and others in the world. It’s the difference between a child thinking, “I’m bad because I made a mistake,” and thinking, “I made a mistake, but I can make it right because love and forgiveness exist.”

The Santa vs. Jesus Dynamic

Now, let’s talk Santa because we’re living in the real world. Kids remember Santa way more than they remember parables. That’s okay. I mean, who doesn’t want to see their face light up over a remote-controlled car or a Barbie Jeep? But here’s the problem: gifts are fleeting, expensive, and, most importantly, do not teach values.

Here’s a realistic comparison:

Item Cost Lifespan Memory Value Remote-control car $45 3 weeks High iPhone $750 Stolen in 1 month Medium Clothes $200 6 months Medium Guitar $550 Moves to attic Low

And Jesus? Free. Lasting. Everlasting. He teaches compassion, forgiveness, and empathy. And guess what? He doesn’t clutter your house. He doesn’t get lost. He doesn’t get stolen at school. He doesn’t need batteries. He doesn’t go out of style.

The “Jesus Is Watching You” Problem

Now, some households go full Santa-mode, which psychologists might call the “naughty vs. nice list” trap. Kids are scored on every spill, every squabble, every lie about homework. And suddenly:

• “I messed up! God hates me now!”

• “I forgot to say please! I’m doomed!”

• “I cheated at Candyland! I’m literally the devil!”

See the problem? Fear. Shame. Guilt. And, as fun as that is for you as a parent to wield as a disciplinary tool, kids internalize it as trauma, not moral guidance. Emotional tone is crucial. Love-based instruction builds empathy. Fear-based instruction builds anxiety.

How to Teach Jesus Without Fear

Here’s the LAB playbook:

1. Story-Based Lessons – Children resonate with narrative, not abstract principles.

2. Center on Love, Not Punishment – Jesus should be a guide, not a monitor.

3. Answer Questions Honestly – Encouraging curiosity strengthens faith.

4. Allow Room for Doubt – Exploration and questioning are part of moral growth.

5. Model Compassion – Your actions teach more than any sermon.

It sounds simple, but it’s revolutionary when most kids are raised with: “Do this or you’ll burn in hell, and Santa won’t bring you anything.”

My Ohio Childhood: A Case Study

I remember standing outside the church one Christmas morning, age seven, staring at the nativity scene. I wanted to be the angel on top of the tree, but I also wanted an Easy-Bake Oven and a Barbie car. My mom said, “Jesus is the reason for the season, honey.”

I believed her. I also remembered the Barbie car. And that tension—between spiritual instruction and tangible desire—shaped my moral compass for years. I learned that love and spirituality don’t have a price tag, but that money, gifts, and consumerism could easily trap you into feeling like the season is about consumption, not connection.

Practical Advice for Parents

Teaching Jesus while raising kids in a gift-driven world is an art. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be mindful.

• Read stories aloud with cocoa or hot chocolate

• Volunteer together—teach generosity in action

• Encourage homemade gifts or acts of service

• Reflect on the moral lessons behind the stories

Even little things—like showing empathy to a sibling, forgiving a friend, or sharing cookies with a neighbor—can become practical applications of faith. Jesus becomes tangible when kids see values lived out, not just told.

Balancing Material Gifts and Faith

Look, I’m not saying skip gifts entirely. I mean, I love a good gift. But I am saying: don’t let gifts overshadow the lessons that last. Parents often think the bigger, flashier, or more expensive the gift, the better the child will behave or appreciate life. The truth? They often forget the gift in a week, and you’re left broke and bitter.

Balance is key. Teach Jesus. Give a small meaningful gift. Emphasize experiences over objects.

Why It Matters Psychologically

Children taught positive religion show:

• Lower anxiety levels

• Better empathy

• Stronger resilience

• More secure attachments

All this happens because Jesus, when taught as a loving figure, mimics the effect of a secure caregiver. Kids learn that they are safe, loved, and part of a community. Contrast that with fear-based teaching, and you get perfectionism, shame, and insecurity.

FAQ: Teaching Faith in the Modern Age

Q: Should I force my kids to accept my beliefs?
A: No. Curiosity strengthens moral and spiritual growth more than force.

Q: What about older kids who ask hard questions?
A: Let them explore, and answer honestly. Faith becomes meaningful when it’s chosen, not imposed.

Q: Can I still use Santa and gifts?
A: Absolutely. Embrace both. Just keep faith, generosity, and love as the centerpiece.

Conclusion: Teach Love, Not Fear

So, should kids learn about Jesus? Yes. But do it with love, humor, storytelling, and room for exploration. Avoid fear, guilt, and punishment. Mix in gifts, laughter, and fun—but keep the focus on values that last longer than toys or technology.

Because here’s the truth:

Gifts break, gadgets fail, candy disappears, clothes wear out.
Love, hope, compassion, and resilience last forever.

If your kids remember one thing from this Christmas, let it be that they are loved unconditionally. That faith can guide them. That generosity matters more than gifts. That miracles, big and small, are always possible.

Merry Christmas. Laugh. Give love. Teach love. Hide the AirPods if you have to. But never hide the values that truly matter.

Keywords: teaching kids Jesus, holiday parenting tips, Christmas gifts vs faith, child psychology, Lyon Amor Brave, holiday spirituality